Shit My Nephew Posts on Facebook

My nephew is a 20 year old white kid from california's central valley, but appears to speak mostly in slang and hip hop lyrics. I am not making any of this up.
Nope. Even with added punctuation it makes no sense.

Nope. Even with added punctuation it makes no sense.

Hard to resist a barnd new game that was plaide twice.

Hard to resist a barnd new game that was plaide twice.

This would be something I would want everyone to know about me.

This would be something I would want everyone to know about me.

I have no idea what this means.  Maybe some sort of punctuation would help?

I have no idea what this means.  Maybe some sort of punctuation would help?

0_0

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Always smooth with the ladies…

Always smooth with the ladies…

Because sometimes, even I have to call him on it…

Because sometimes, even I have to call him on it…

Ok?

Ok?

Me me me!!!

Me me me!!!

No.

No.